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My Experience Teaching My Kids About Stranger Danger and Body Safety: A Mother's Guide to Setting Boundaries

Updated: Jan 14

As a mom, nothing is more important than keeping my children safe. One topic that often gets overlooked is teaching kids about stranger danger and body safety. While these discussions can be tough, they play a vital role in helping our children learn to protect themselves. In this post, I’ll share my experiences and give practical tips that can help other parents start these important conversations.


Understanding the Concepts


To effectively teach our kids, we need to understand what "stranger danger" and "body safety" truly mean.


Stranger danger involves making children aware of the potential risks that come from interacting with unfamiliar people. It's crucial for kids to identify situations that could be dangerous, like being approached by someone they don’t know. For example, my children frequent the park, library, grocery store, malls and other public places and there are aways people wanting to stop and say hi or interact with them (or my baby waving to everyone). Although most people have good intentions, it's imperative that my children understand the dangers of talking to strangers.


Body safety, on the other hand, means teaching children about their personal space and the right to refuse unwanted touch (even from family members). They should learn that their body belongs to them, and feeling uncomfortable is a valid reason to say no.


By presenting these topics positively, we can help our kids feel empowered rather than afraid.


Starting the Conversation


Initiating the conversation about safety was crucial when my kids were three, five and two. We used simple language and relatable examples to explain these concepts.


One day, I asked, “What would you do if a stranger offered you a toy at the park?” This type of open-ended question encouraged critical thinking and allowed them to express their thoughts about safety. When I asked my son this question, he said "we take the toy". This gave me the opportunity to teach him correctly about how to handle a situation like this.


To make it even more engaging, we played out scenarios and acted out potential situations. This not only made our discussions fun but also reinforced the lessons in a memorable way.


Eye-level view of a colorful playground equipment
Colorful playground equipment that attracts children's attention.

Teaching Specific Scenarios


While the initial conversation was helpful, I understood the importance of discussing specific situations to ensure the lessons stick.


For example, we talked about what to do if a stranger approaches them and offers candy. I taught them the “Yell and Tell” method: if someone makes them feel uncomfortable, they should shout for help and immediately report the incident to a trusted adult.


When discussing body safety, we differentiated between “safe touch” and “unsafe touch.” Even though this was a sensitive topic, I reassured my kids they could come to me anytime with questions. Together, we made a list of "safe people" they could talk to if they felt unsure or scared.


Close-up view of children's safety educational materials
Playing at the pond.

Reinforcement Through Activities


Reinforcing these lessons is key to long-term understanding. I found creative ways to incorporate safety discussions into our everyday activities.


For instance, during our reading time, we read. a story called Where hands Go identifying people who looked friendly and those who seemed unapproachable. We also practiced different scenarios regularly to keep safety lessons engaging and fresh. Reading child-friendly safety books like, The Safety Book Strangers and Dangers, not only sparked conversations but also provided a safe space for them to express their feelings.


Continuous Dialogue and Monitoring


Teaching kids about stranger danger and body safety is an ongoing process. I make it a point to revisit these discussions regularly, updating them as my children grow and their understanding deepens.


I encourage them to share their feelings about different people’s behaviors. If they ever feel uncomfortable around someone, I want them to know it is okay to voice that concern.


By maintaining an open dialogue, I feel more confident that my children will be better prepared to recognize dangerous situations and respond appropriately.


Encouraging Independence with Boundaries


As my kids have matured, teaching them about personal boundaries has become increasingly important. We emphasize that "no means no." They have the right to set boundaries not only with strangers but with friends and family too.


Playing games and talking through common scenarios that promote respect for personal space has been especially beneficial. These activities allow them to practice advocating for themselves, enhancing their confidence in uncomfortable situations.


Resources for Parents


If you are looking to teach your kids about stranger danger and body safety, you have many valuable resources at your disposal.


  • Books: Consider reading "Your Body Belongs to You" by Cornelia Spelman and "The Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers by Stan Berenstain. These books are written in an age-appropriate manner that resonates with children.


  • Workshops: Look for local community workshops that offer training for parents and children on safety topics. Many organizations run programs specifically for families.


  • Online Resources: Websites such as the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children provide extensive information and tools for families focused on childhood safety.


Empowering Our Children


Teaching kids about stranger danger and body safety is a crucial aspect of parenting. We can help our children understand these topics without overwhelming them by having open discussions, practicing scenarios, and reinforcing lessons consistently.


As mothers, we have the chance to equip our kids with knowledge that can keep them safe in real-life situations. Though these discussions may require patience, the benefits will manifest as our children grow to be more aware and resilient individuals.


Navigating these conversations can be challenging, but remember: your proactive approach will significantly benefit your children's future. Let’s continue to educate them, set boundaries, and create a safe environment where they can thrive.


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