Get to Know Your Kids: Easy Ways for Moms to Foster Relationships

What better gift in life than to be a mother, to birth, train, love and learn our children. Every mother gets to do this in her own way and at her own speed. Being a stay at home mom (SAHM), has afforded me the opportunity to know my children at a deeper level and with greater intensity. One of my goals as a SAHM is to understand my children’s individual needs and how to meet those needs. The way I’ve been able to do this is by spending intentional time with them.

You may be having a hard time recognizing your children’s needs or getting to know them. Your children may be at a stage where your children are not vocal yet or have a hard time expressing their needs, wants and desires. You may think that you don’t have enough time to devote to really digging into each child’s life because of your other overwhelming responsibilities. It’s all okay, we are going to talk about ways to incorporate your children into your everyday routine and try to help develop relationships, foster conversation (even with the littles) and help you get to know your child.

Take the Pressure Off

Every mom wants to spend time with their children and get to know them. It’s why we become moms. Sometimes there are internal pressures, societal pressures and family pressures to do things a certain way. You are the momma, you get to do things your way. You know what’s best for your child and you get to choose how to raise your child. No pressure.

Observe

So part of getting to know your child is taking the time to observe them as they are doing life. Whether they are playing independently, helping you with household chores or training them to do something new. For example, while I have been potty training my son and daughter, I’ve noticed a few things. I mentioned before that potty training has been tough for me. As we have been powering through it, I noticed that my children needed different things in order to be successful. My son needed encouragement. He needed to be told that he could do it. My daughter needed very clear step by step instructions each time and praise. So every time she went to the potty we had to cheer and give high fives! I initially was trying to treat them the same way and they each needed something different.

When we have multiple children, we often group them together and treat them the same. Another example is learning and observing their love language. My oldest son is all about quality time. He wants you to come sit on the couch with him and watch a movie or come to his room and play or sit at the table with him while he eats a snack. My daughter loves affection. She wants the hugs and to snuggle up with you. The baby I’m still learning! The point is that each child is different and requires different things to be loved and taught just like you!

Schedule Time

Just like anything else in life, we have to make a plan. Whether you have one child or several, try to schedule time to spend with each child whether it’s family, weekly or monthly. This doesn’t have to be expensive or too time consuming. For example, my children normally take a nap around noon. So I put my daughter to bed and allow the baby to independently play while I take some time to spend with my oldest son. Whether we are doing a short reading lesson, playing outside or just cleaning up his toys together, it’s just me and him. Here are some other ideas to do during this special time:

• Choose one child to run errands with you

• Schedule ice cream time or their favorite treat

• Go for a walk in the neighborhood

• Play a board game

• Bake together

• Go to the park or play in the backyard

• Color, paint or craft together

• Build blocks together

• Play dolls or have tea time together

There are so many things to do together that do not require money or a ton of time. It’s just important to spend time together.

Be Prepared

While we are spending these precious moments with our children, let’s be intentional. Let’s be prepared to use this time to have conversations with them. This doesn’t have to happen every time but it’s nice to have some questions on hand to foster conversation. Of course, if you have really young children, this may be hard to do but we can try to have conversations at their level. Here are some questions you could ask when you have young children:

• What’s your favorite animal?

• What’s your favorite color?

• What do you like to do when you go to the playground?

• What’s your favorite thing to do outside?

• What’s one thing you learned today?

• What did you enjoy about today?

• Did anyone or anything hurt your feelings today?

• What was the best/worst thing that happened to you today?

• What special classes did you have today? Did you have art, music, or gym? What did you do in those classes?

• Did anything really funny happen today?

• What are you most thankful for today?

• Is there anything I can help you with today?

• Is there anything you need from me today?

Encouragement

Children are just looking for our time and commitment to them. They enjoy having us around and just being in their presence. Take the time to be present. Take the time to know them. Take the time to have fun and be silly. Just take the time to be there! As always, you are their parent they love you and YOU GOT THIS!